Why babies were not meant to have hair

Imagine a lawn. You like your lawn finely manicured. Unfortunately, the lawn may not feel the same way....
Now, put your lawn on a huge bowling ball so it is nice and spherical (this is a mowing defense tactic and if all lawns were smart, that is how they would insist upon growing).
Make it so the sphere of turf can role away when it is concerned about something. And add a large speaker that lets out unpleasantries when the lawn is abused or subjected to humiliation.
Now you are ready to bring out he lawn mower. The lawn looks at it with interest until you start the mower. Immediately, the lawn shrinks away and emits load noises. You must chase the lawn and hold it down while you complete the first few passes with the mower. Amid escalating cries of horror, the lawn reels and turns to avoid the mower, making it impossible to cut the grass evenly. Seeing the futility of continuing in this fashion you decide that perhaps the lawn will react more favorably to garden sheers.
The lawn stops running away as soon as that dreadful mower stops. Immediately, the lawn becomes fascinated by the clippers and attempts to watch every snip. This is tiresome to you and the lawn, so the lawn decides to try and take over its own cutting. Somehow, you keep the clippers in your own control and complete some semblance of a decent trim. I wouldn't call it a fine manicure because there are renegade pieces on various sides poke out unpredictably. If all lawns were as difficult to cut, I imagine there would be more shaggy lawns. Of course, it isn't a lawn at all, it's a babies bobbing head. Lawn are much easier because they have no ears to nip and do not grab for the clippers. And lawns have no little brown eyes to fill with sad baby tears. Fortunately, most babies are born semi-bald, simplifying life for frustrated hair cutters everywhere.